Again, here's the customary "wow I haven't written anything in a long time".
I feel like I'm kind of losing myself. It's the holidays but I haven't been drawing or writing as much as I used to. I had so many things I was supposed to do but somehow lost the motivation.
I'm not even as eloquent as I used to be, and this frustrates me immensely because language is the vehicle of thought, etc etc.
I don't really know why I came back to this blog. Maybe it's cause I was reading through Ian's. But I don't really have anything in particular I'd like to say here. Just wanted to yell into the cyberspace void once more, like I used to. I've stopped using social media as an outlet for announcing random inane frustrations because that's incredibly retarded and nobody wants to see that. Feels cathartic, though.
I feel so tired.
I can sleep for as long as I want and the eyebags won't leave me.
I recently screwed up a social encounter pretty bad. I thought by now I'd have sorted out how to at least pretend to be functional in front of stranger adults, but newp.
Feel so alienated all the time. From adults, from peers, from children.
Is it somehow objectively wrong to be instinctively reclusive? Is it some sort of aberration from the 'correct' way to be a decent person/citizen/whatever? I'm not being rhetorical.
I realise that scrolling through all the posts on this blog is extremely depressing. Why is it that I only have things to say when I feel negatively? Maybe writing is just the way negative thoughts manifest themselves. Positive thoughts manifest more constructively, through various projects and stuff. Wonder if it's the same for others.
Testing.
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